Friday, 17 August 2012

The Purse Duel

At a family reunion, a number of us went to an outdoor theatre to see a play. We had some time to wait before it started, so my mother turned to my cousin and challenged her to a purse duel.

The basic idea of a duel is to see who has the most bizarre stuff in her purse. My cousin won. Her purse contained a stuffed monkey, a travel Boggle game, and a container of peach cobbler.

Remember the old "Let's Make a Deal" game show? Under the influence of Bob Barker's smile, women cheerfully bared their purses to nationwide audiences without a flinch. And they carried the oddest things! Screwdrivers, cans of whipped cream, road maps of Istanbul, Ace bandages. We all watched breathlessly, wondering what amazing item would be produced next.

I figured Bob Barker wouldn't find my own purse very interesting, until recently when I took a good look for myself. I had some ordinary stuff - Advil, my day planner, my wallet, three pens, a notebook full of cryptic notes I can no longer make sense of, and six old bus transfers. But digging deeper, I found an empty Tupperware salt shaker, my snow hat, a pair of sandals, an overdue library book, a baby pacifier (the "baby" is about to start high school), a dry-cleaning stub so I can retrieve the dress I took there three months ago, a hair scrunchie (I haven't had long hair in years), a Pokemon card, a packet of Velcro, and a Chess piece. Just let me chuck in a fire extinguisher, a hammer drill, and a can of shoe polish, and I'll be ready to take on any challenger.

Except my cousin. I don't think I can top peach cobbler.

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