Two days later, we're to almost 233,000 views this month

However, I have heard that some real, live humans are also following this blog, so I will drop a post occasionally, if for no other reason than to say hi. Hi, Carol! Thank you for reading!

I was woken up at 1:00 this morning by a herd of buffalo coming in the front door (i.e. grandchildren coming back from a movie), and of course my brain kicked into gear and I couldn't get back to sleep. Rather than fight it, here I am, catching up on emails and reading William Kent Krueger and contemplating making a breakfast cake. I'll regret all this by about noon, but for now, I'm ready to start my day.

I've been considering what to do about my vegetable garden. The raised beds are elderly and need replacing, but wood is so expensive. The metal beds are even more expensive, and I don't think they're tough enough to handle the abuse I'd give them. I think they'd also heat up more in the summer. I've considered going back to in-ground gardening and eliminating the raised beds all together, but then my back twinges and I remember I'm not getting any younger. I've thought about scaling back and putting half the garden into berry bushes or fruit trees or grapes, to lessen the ratio of annuals to perennials. I've thought about flattening the whole thing and putting in shade trees and a bench. My husband even suggested I rent out parcels like a community garden.

That's something I've always struggled with---the grandiose plans and dreams vs. the reality of arthritis and a pinched nerve in my back. The vision of rows of bottled tomatoes and pressure-canned potatoes vs. the fact I'm almost at the empty-nest stage. I see crabapples going to waste on the boulevard trees and long to pick buckets and buckets to make into jelly...and then remember we're on a diet and avoiding toast. Sigh.

We're also looking at having the last of the lawn removed and replaced with a stone courtyard, which would be lovely, but that feels like a final decision to absolutely not get another dog in the future. And I'm not sure I can make that decision yet. I don't want to get another dog. I tell myself I could never replace Brio, and I couldn't. And yet letting go of that last bit of lawn feels so definitive.

These are the dilemmas my brain presents at 1 a.m.