Sacred Demise by Carolyn Baker

I'm reading an intriguing and thought-provoking book right now by Carolyn Baker. I've read it before, but this time new things are jumping out at me. For example, she talks about coming pandemics (the book was published in 2009). But of all the concepts she's discussed so far, the one that rings the most true to me is that we have learned to say no, but we haven't learned to be told no.

A two-year-old is supposed to be taught boundaries. They can say no (hopefully within limits), but sometimes they also have to learn the finality of being told no. And when I look around at many of the adults today, they never seem to have learned that concept. They act entitled, as if they are somehow exceptional and have the right to do whatever they want, when they want, on the scale they want, even if it hurts others.

Even more important than having boundaries put upon us, though, we need to learn to tell ourselves no. Just because we want to do something doesn't mean we need to or get to do it. And sometimes we just shouldn't do it. As adults, it's our role to tell our two-year-olds and ourselves no when we need to. And that includes saying no to things we probably do have a right to, but for the good of everyone, we should decline them anyway. 

Boundaries can be useful things. People can say yes to shelter but no to 7,000-square-foot air-conditioned homes, for example. And for those who assert that the 7,000-square-foot home is their right, how do they then turn around and explain why everyone in American doesn't have that kind of home? If it's a right, everyone should have equal access to it. And to take it further, why doesn't every person in the world have equal access to it? What justifies saying I have a right to something that others don't? I'm not saying that as succinctly as Carolyn Baker does in her book, but you see the point of the argument, anyway.

It's a ridiculously simple concept, but I think we've lost track of it in the last couple of generations, and it would solve so many world problems if we could all get a handle on it now. I think instead of "Just say no!", Nancy Reagan's campaign would have done better to say "Just tell yourself no!"