Getting Grumpy in My Old Age

So...after shooting off that last post about brotherly love, I spent this morning grumpily writing to my Member of Parliament and a certain Premier to express dissatisfaction with some particular actions and practices. I won't get into the specifics, because this blog isn't meant to be political, but it makes me ponder the dichotomy and the dilemma--- How do you stand for principle and live according to your values in the face of opposition, without becoming, er, oppositional? How do you deal with unpleasantness without becoming unpleasant yourself?

I try to express myself politely. I try to be informed before making statements. I try to be reasonable and find solutions. And yet at some point, I just want to pull my hair out and demand that other people get off my planet. You know? Sometimes things seem like obvious common sense to me, and I struggle to understand how other people can't see my viewpoint (and agree with it). I'm so sure I'm right... And in some instances, I think there's such a thing as absolute truth, and yet I see other people denying it. Ignoring it. Actively stating falsehood. Condoning inarguable evil.

I know evil's a strong word, but I believe it exists, and it's our job to call it out when we see it. To step in when we see people purposely being harmed or cast aside. To speak up and amplify the voice that's being squashed. To use our privilege to invite the forgotten or excluded ones to the table.

Which I guess circles round to brotherly love again.

You know, some days peopling is too hard. I'm going to go work in my garden. I get along better with plants, and if any of them irritate me, I can yank them out.

Love Your Neighbour: Possibility or Pipe Dream?

My thought for the day: Christians say they believe in the commandment to "love thy neighbour as thyself." People tend to interpret that as "love your neighbour as much as you love yourself" and that leads, of course, to the urge to "love yourself."

I interpret it differently. To me, it's saying "love your neighbour because he/she IS yourself." They are not "other." They are you. We are to see us as one. We are to BE one. If we truly did that, there wouldn't be contention, violence, poverty, or apathy. We'd finally learn to be kind.

Imagine what a different society that would create, if we actually saw no boundary between "us" and "them." Do I hold out any hope that we'll do it? No. But a girl can dream.

(I'm the solemn one on the left.)

Photos, as Promised Last Week

Some snapshots from my walk around the Credit River and Riverwood Conservancy. A lovely start to my morning.

Hawaii - Travels and Observations

This morning's post is a snippet about the cover photo on my latest book, Before You Go. My mother-in-law was a warm, cheerful, energetic, and kind of zany person, always up for a new adventure. She loved having our boys up to her trailer, and they have fond memories of epic summers spent with her. She was more friend than "mother-in-law" and had a knack for making you feel welcomed and loved. She genuinely enjoyed people.

Sadly, she passed much too soon, and she left my husband and his brother her Hawaiian timeshare. We have been there many times, and even though we were never there with her, it invokes good memories of her. The timeshare is in Makaha, on Oahu, right on a beautiful, quiet beach. The kids come out after school to surf, but otherwise the beach is fairly empty. It's a residential area, not touristy, and I enjoy walking around the neighbourhood, appreciating the azaleas and palm trees and listening to the crowing of the ubiquitous roosters. One such walk inspired the setting for Before You Go.

The photo on the cover was snapped from the timeshare's lanai, looking north and showing the neighbourhood I was walking through when the book's plot began to come to me.

With the travel situation with the U.S. right now (not to mention the cost of flying), we won't be returning to Hawaii anytime soon, if ever. I miss that luscious feeling of walking out of the airport (usually in the middle of the night) into warm, humid air. The constant background sound of the waves thundering onto the sand. The bone-deep heat of the hot tub easing my aching joints. The BBQ pork manapua served hot, like little doughy melt-in-your-mouth marshmallows, at the local 7-11. The kind friends we've made there. The delicious feeling of waking up knowing you have nothing to do all day but slather yourself in coconut-scented sunscreen and sit with a book on the balcony. Bliss.

On the other hand, the last time I was there, there was considerably more tension in the air between tourists, natives, and the unhoused population, and I left feeling very much like an unwanted colonial. It made me ponder in ways I hadn't before the role I play and the position I have inadvertently landed in in life. Some uncomfortable consideration of privileges I haven't earned and haven't been properly appreciative of. This new awareness is not necessarily a bad thing.

It was a Busy Friday at the McKendry House

Twenty-five containers and counting...

Our waste collection guys are going to hate us.

Riverwood Conservancy and Erindale Park - a Walk Along the Credit River

I'm tired of being sick in bed, so yesterday I headed out for a long walk. I ended up heading east along Burnhamthorpe Road, admiring the swaths of tulips in the centre islands, noticing Eastern Redbud trees in bloom, until I got to the overpass over the Credit River. There are a couple of lookout points where you can rest your arms on the railing and look down at the gorge. The sound of the river has to compete with the sound of traffic at that height, but if you take the steps down to river level, it's like entering a different world. Stone, soil, filtered sunlight, green growing things---and the hum of traffic is subsumed under the rush of water.

If you turn north, you enter the paths of the Riverwood Conservancy, where you can choose easy or more difficult routes. All lead eventually back up the hill to formal gardens and the art centre. Or, as I did yesterday, you can turn south and walk along the Credit River.

I met a handful of people walking the trail, but for the most part I was by myself. Nothing but peace and beauty and the satisfying feeling of walking on something other than pavement. There are occasional footbridges over branching rills, and they've placed handy benches here and there if you need a pause. I was taking a moment to remove pebbles from my shoes when I looked up and saw two deer placidly walking along the bank directly opposite me. Deer. Smack in the middle of a city of over 700,000. So I sat on the bench a while and watched them. One of the deer was so unthreatened by my presence that she stopped to poop, which I confess I took as a compliment. A few other walkers paused to watch for a while too.

When the deer finally moved on, we all wished each other a nice day, and I resumed my stroll (the path is level and easy enough that it can't be called a hike) and emerged in Erindale Park on Dundas Street, where---happily---there are public washrooms. I'd already been walking for 2 hours, so I caught a handy bus back to South Common, via the University, and then walked home from there. About 2.5 hours in all. 

One of the disadvantages of not having a phone is that I also don't have a lightweight camera. My digital camera weighs too much to want to carry it with me on my walks. But one day I'll see if I can capture some views from the overpass, looking down at the river. 

I'm excited to know that all this loveliness is within walking distance of my house, and I regret that I didn't realize it sooner. I feel like I've wasted the past 25 years, missing out on this beautiful scenery when I could have been walking here every day. But then I remind myself that no, until relatively recently, I was running for the bus to get to work, and I wouldn't have had time to take a leisurely two and a half hour stroll in the morning. Instead of marching along under picturesque white pines, I would have been hunched in a cubicle, wrangling numbers into their little slots in Excel sheets. What a waste of life! How glad I am to be free of it, even if only for a while.

Thankful for Friends

A warm thank you to all my friends and family who have reposted the link to buy my latest book Before You Go For an introvert who's more comfortable with books than with people, I really appreciate the help promoting it!

This week was actually very social for me. Tuesday I had choir practice. Hubby, sons, and I went to see the movie Project Hail Mary on Wednesday. Thursday Son #2 and I helped throw a dinner at the church with the missionaries. Friday I went to The Devil Wore Prada 2 with four women I know (two movies in one week! I know, right??). And Saturday was a Relief Society women's conference in Brampton, with wonderful food and workshops and conversation. I met a new friend and fellow writer there, too.

And then today I stayed in bed with a chest cold and a book and kinda missed Mothers' Day, but that's okay. I had a good people-filled week, and the sun is streaming in the window, and I'm content. This coming week will be filled with restorative activities -- gardening and long walks to the river and a new book called The Reluctant Tuscan: How I discovered my Inner Italian by Phil Doran, which looks promising.