They announced yesterday that the stay-at-home order will likely be extended into June, instead of ending May 20 as hoped. So my planned 1-2 week stay at the church is turning into 9-10 weeks. When I came up, it was still snowing. When I finally go home, it will be a bit late for planting the vegetable garden, and I'm sure the whole yard will have been taken over by weeds and baby maple trees. Nature reverts very quickly back to the wild when you aren't watching. My growing season may be quite short this year!
I hadn't realized how integral planting the vegetable garden is to my year. I can't get a proper sense of the seasons if I'm not following my 30+-year routine of planning, weeding, hoeing, fertilizing, planting, thinning, weeding, watering, harvesting, bottling, weeding, mulching. My pre-purchased seeds are waiting in the cupboard, and I don't know if they'll get planted. Maybe I should just mulch it all over and let it lie fallow until next year, when surely things will be better! I feel adrift in spring, unable to let it really get underway because my rituals are gone. I must practise being in the now, letting go of habits, and just enjoying the season for itself instead of for what it usually brings me.
I took Brio for a walk yesterday to the little local lake. The sky was almost supernaturally blue, the clouds white and puffy like a child's drawing of clouds, the air cool, the sunshine warm on my skin like syrup. I may not be able to get my hands in the soil, but I can smell the damp earth and the tang of pine. I may not have a plot to tend, but I can enjoy the wild geraniums, violets, and forget-me-nots growing everywhere under the trees. Maybe this year, it's enough to just be in God's garden.
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