Self-Pressuring and Re-evaluating

So in the past, when I've been home all day, it's because I've been on vacation. I've spent the time gardening or writing or bottling fruit or whatever. But this time around, I'm actually at work while I'm at home. I've been working solidly from 6:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. most days, which is more hours than I usually put in, but still less when I consider I no longer have the 4-hour commute every day. So I'm being more productive than when I go into the office.

There's a funny phenomenon, though, when I sit at the laptop and still feel that guilty little tug in the back of my mind that says, "You should be gardening. You should be writing. You should be spring cleaning and painting your ceilings and baking bread and practising your banjo and sorting through clutter and digging out the composters." I would really hate for this whole thing to end without my having accomplished anything, you know? And I would really hate for this to end and find myself weighing twenty pounds more, which seems the likely track if I keep on the way I have.

So while I'm working at home, I need to make sure I put up boundaries, only work the hours I'm supposed to, take the time to do some gentle yoga and work in the yard, and let myself be at home.

There's a meme flying around Facebook right now that says: "In the rush to return to normal, take this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to." (Dave Hollis) I think in general my life is pretty simple and slow-moving. I don't have a lot of social activities at the best of times, and I ordinarily spend most evenings after work reading, cooking, gardening, or watching people on Youtube cook and garden. Are there parts of my normal day-to-day life that I want to re-evaluate and perhaps cut out? I think I've probably gone through that exercise already, and life is streamlined to basically what I want it to be. But there are probably some things I need to slot in -- more ministering time and more temple service come to mind. I will spend some of this quiet time at home thinking about how I can incorporate those things into my normal life a little better. Less TV, more service. Since the kids are grown and pretty-much gone, my life has become perhaps too inward-focused and self-centered. It's time to expand a little and reach out a little more.

As soon as I get those composters dug out.