I have renewed our home insurance, and I spent some rolicking time today reading all the fine print in our policy. Basically it says "We cover you for all of this, but if/when you make a claim, we won't cover it." It even says, essentially, "this isn't covered even though we said it would be." Flood coverage won't cover water damage, but only fire or explosion caused by flood. (Fire caused by water? Trying to picture it.) Terrorism isn't covered either, so there goes my claim if Erin Mills is suddenly attacked with napalm. And the fun thing is that the contents are valued at the same cost as rebuilding my house (I look at my Valu Village secondhand furniture and giggle).
The policy is meant for residential dwellings, and it says all over the first page that if your home is a total loss, you have the option of receiving payment for the value of your home without being obligated to rebuild, in case you decide not to. And then in tiny print it says this does not apply to residential dwellings. Um...
My favourite clause, however, which left me scratching my head, says this, verbatim:
"We do not insure loss or damage caused by mysterious disappearance of property."
Immediately my mind tried to envision what sort of scenario might result in the mysterious disappearance of one's house. A UFO hovers over the dwelling and beams it up to transport to a far galaxy? David Copperfield throws a blanket over the house, mumbles "abracadabra," and whoosh! it's gone? How fascinating! A surreal glimpse into the mind of whoever crafted the wording.
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